Every Type of Bra Ad Headline in Social Media

This is the last bra you’re ever going to buy

I’m obsessed with this bra

This bra is shaking up the bra industry

Rethinking the bra from the ground up

Bra companies don’t want you to know this

Get Kickstarter’s Most Funded Bra

This bra is a GAME CHANGER.

We flipped the script on bras.

This bra is taking the world by storm

Happy New Year From Eat A Dick Joel

Congrats. You've made it to 2023 A.D.

Don't fuck it up.

Change Fees, Umbrellas, and Substandard Anal Sex Lube. Let's Say Goodbye To Them All!

Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! 

The ProofrEADJer, Early March Edition

Go back to school, folks!

UAG

Spotted In Newark Airport

Robin Meade continues to hawk her country CD, trying desperately to leave her shitty desk job for a life on tour.

Give it a rest, Robin. You're never going to go platinum, or even gold. Hey, you might go wood.

You can purchase Robin's CD here.

An Imagined Conversation

"Welcome, Mr. Foxx. We're really excited that you've agreed to be a part of this week's episode."
*nods head*
"By the way, I'm Amanda, the stage producer. This is your green room. Feel free to take off your coat and freshen up, and uh, just relax until we start shooting at 11."
*nods head, examines craft service table*
"Uh, you can, uh, hang your coat over there. Mink. Nice. And when you have a minute, your wardrobe is off to the side here- a pair of jeans and a simple golf shirt. I know you're not used to wearing something so plain, but people don't often wear shiny silver suits on Sesame Street."
*eats a peanut*
"Ahem. Yes. So, Barbara in makeup will be up in about thirty minutes. And Candace will help you with any wardrobe questions or fittings that you might need adjusted."
*nods absently*
"Are you going to eventually take off those sunglasses, Mr. Foxx?"
*ignores her, eats a peanut*
"O-kay... I'll be outside if you need me."
*yawns*
(muttered) "Asshole."

Laying it on thick

Things I don't expect to hear anytime soon from a cab driver:

"Those bike messengers are a pure delight!"

"You want to pay with a credit card? No problem, boss!"

"Why yes, I will hang up my cell phone so that I can concentrate on driving."

"Rice and Western? I know exactly where that is and will get you there posthaste!"

"You want a receipt? Here, take a whole pad of 'em!"

"You're right. Me blasting NPR doesn't make me appear any smarter. I'll turn it down."

"There are seven of you, and you're all obnoxiously drunk? Pile in, kids!"

"My name is Dean Hacohen."

"You don't have enough money? TUUUUUUUU!"

"You no make fun. My name really TRAN PHAT."


(pictured above, Nancy M watches as four gallons of sour cream are slathered onto her ginormous Morton's tater)