Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

UAG

Farting On Susan's Facebook Wall

So I'm Facebook friends with this girl Susan M. I don't really know her all that well except that we worked together in Chicago a few years ago, but I friended her because I'm not very discriminating and think hundreds of Facebook friends will magically validate me somehow.

Anyhoo, I finally got around to reading her profile page, and it turns out she's fans of Starbucks, J. Crew, Zipcar, Walgreen's, Oprah, Gossip Girl, and Groupon Chicago. Wow, imagine that!

So to make her website more interesting, I posted on her wall:


And I soon got a response on my wall;


I thought over time she'd remove the "fart" from her wall, but after a good 24 hours, it was still there. So I left another, thinking she'll definitely take it down, then:


It's been a good weekend since I posted that second fart, with no response or action, so I felt it important to post the screenshot of the first fart on her wall on her wall:


She'll definitely take it down now, right? Or at least unfriend me. Stay tuned to EADJ as this important story develops.

An Open Letter To Erin Esurance.

Damn girl, you used to be fine.


With your skintight catsuit and grappling hooks and whatnot.


Selling that car, boat, or motorcycle insurance like the fine bitch you are.


Doing flips and shaking what the Good Lord gave ya. Mmm, mm mm.


So why'd you have to go to Melanie Griffith's plastic surgeon? Damn shame, girl. Real damn shame.

Sublime Nonsense 6: COLLECT THEM ALL!

Click to make bigger.

Work it out, Chimp Servant.

Joel had been complaining about his chimp servant's low muscle tone and weak upper body strength. So he bought it a year-long membership to Shaz, the local hip gym, complete with Olympic-length pool and climbing wall area.

At first, the chimp servant resented wearing the obligatory tank top and shorts. And the treadmill buttons were too high for it to adjust the speed. But after a few weeks, it started to visit Shaz at every opportunity.

In a short period of time, the chimp servant has improved its core muscles, its oblique abs, and its endurance in the sauna. The newly-buff chimp also has been seen canoodling with Rebecca Romijn and Rebecca Gayheart. Joel has meanwhile gained 10 lbs., although his dick-eating burns tons of calories per day.

The chimp servant has recently challenged its master to a wrestling match in the Shaz parking lot. Rebecca Gayheart will be on hand to both referee the match and to run over children while driving with a cell phone. Bookies have 23 to 1 odds on Joel winning the match.

(pictured above, Andrew at one of those lunchtime Bad Film Club viewings. Can't remember which one. "Frogs?")