The ProofrEADJer: Early June Edition

I think they mean Atlantis, although Atlanta is lovely, too.

Mike Collins better put the hammer down on his proofreader.

Fun Daily Robin Meade Fact

Robin Meade was actually interviewed by Penthouse Magazine in December 2011 about her anchoring career on Headline News and her (then) new country album in an article named "Morning Glory."

Read that shit here.

The Target Ghetto Aisle.

If you've ever entered a Target, you may have noticed a bizarre section that offers merchandise for mere pennies. The problem is, 100% of the stuff on these shelves is unadulterated crap. I've dubbed this dubious section the Target Ghetto Aisle: it's cheap as ass, crowded as ass, and you can sometimes find meth hidden in places.

And the care that they put into arranging the merchandise! How do they keep such VALUES ORGANIZED LIKE THIS?!! HOW, JESUS?

Personally, I don't remember purchasing anything from these low-rent aisles. Well, maybe an emery board and a bedazzled Hello Kitty baton.

FUN FACT: Every year, over 3800 teens disappear when visiting the Target Ghetto Aisle and are never heard from again!

Next time you're at Target, take a minute to visit the Target Ghetto Aisle. You'll either catch some really great bargains or meningitis. And tell 'em EADJ sent ya!

Alliteration At All Costs

Spotted in Manhattan, between The Wonderful Projects and The Enjoyable Ghetto.

Twofer! Hey, Anybody there?

Matt Spett and Eri Kim Thread the Needle. And no one cares.

Lending a bit of class to the whole proceedings.

Noel Threads the Needle with an ice dancer's grace and follow through.

Another Threading the Needle aborted.

Ryan almost steps up, but an obstacle way more formidable than a table is in place.

Suzie and Ranee refuse to Thread the Needle.

Because there's a meeting in there. Pussies.

Jessica Threads the Needle

As promised, here is a video of Jessica showing how to cut through the Planners' Ghetto to get to the bathroom.

Emily Threads the Needle

Emily has a more presentational style.

***Planner Ghetto Update***

After consulting with expert trackers and Navy Seal recon teams, EADJ has found way to navigate around the planners' obstacles and successfully reach the bathroom. This particular maneuver is called "Threading the Needle."

COMING MONDAY: An actual video of Jessica Foster demonstrating "Threading the Needle."

Snack on a Dong, Joel

Joel recently took an interest in the athletic phenomenon "Parkour" or "free running," when he saw some young toughs running around in a parking deck. After talking to them for fifteen minutes and eating their dicks for ten, Joel donned a track suit and hung out with them for the day.

"Parkour is an art that helps you overcome any obstacle," Joel wrote in his diary, "It's using the space around you to create beauty and movement. Also, those guys' dicks are DELICIOUS! <333333"


It was with this je ne sais quois and joie de vivre that Joel threw himself (literally!) into this new art. Shortly after attempting to jump from a handicapped rail to a regular stairwell rail, he broke a shoulderblade, both wrists, four ribs, his coccyx, one kneecap and bruised his jaw.

"Buh ah least I can stih eat dick!" he said from inside his body cast.

(pictured above, Phil & Maura's noble attempt to prevent people from walking through their Planner Ghetto to the bathrooms)