Some Hollywood Movies Based On A Pediatric Nurse's Scrubs

Hollywood is plumb out of ideas, so studios have turned to their next obvious resource for scripts was the scrubs of a pediatric nurse in Summit, NJ. Here now are some films currently in development:

"PALS" starring Joaquin Phoenix and Martin Lawrence

Two goofball friends-of-cops (but not cops themselves!) find themselves in a wacky citywide mystery when their cop roommates wind up dead at City Hall. Featuring Brent Spiner as the mayor.

"Me & You"

From the writers of "This Is Us", this romantic drama stars the kid from "Ready Player One" and that model chick from "Suicide Squad" who always looks pissed. Also starring Kristen Stewart as the perky older sister.

"Side-Kick"

Fan favorites Tonto and Robin come out from their partners' shadows to fight crime THEIR WAY! Starring Adam Beach as Tonto and Danny Pudi as Robin. Also featuring Jean Smart as Darkseid.

"U Me & Us"

From the writers of "This Is Us", this romantic drama stars Eva Longoria, Teri Hatcher, Nicollette Sheridan and Marcia Cross. THIS IS NOT A DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES REUNION.

"DAWG!" starring Randy Jackson

This loosely-based-on-reality film follows American Idol judge Randy Jackson as he discovers a world of things that are going to be a "no" for him. Directed by Spike Jonze.

"BFF" starring Jacob Tremblay, Mackenzie Foy and Caleb McLaughlin

Nostalgia time! This 80s childhood comedy-drama-coming of age story follows three friends who share a watering hole during their last summer together. Featuring the music of Debbie Gibson, Tiffany, Howard Jones and Oingo Boingo. It directs itself.

Let's Meet Your Instructors!

Welcome once again to Anchorsville Continuing Education. We are so glad you've decided to spend $200 and the next few weeks with us at one or several of our unique enrichment programs! Now that you've attended the Main Orientation, let's get to meet your new instructors here at Anchorsville Continuing Education:

Enrollment is still open until November 20!

The NJ Transit Survey Brochure Analysis, Chapter 2

Last week we posted the hidden meaning behind the photo in a NJ Transit Survey Brochure and happened to stumble upon a few enlightening facts. Here now, we attempt to delve a little further into the symbology behind this masterwork.

Typographical:

A quick font search revealed that the headline was typeset in Autograph Script EF Bold, by Eisner + Flake. The fact that it's a simulated autograph enforces the mimed human interactivity in the photo and the fake conversation is echoed in the fake "handwritten" style of the words. So whether this is a wry clue to the hidden meaning of the photo or just a lazy font choice to go with a lazy, un-thought-out photo shoot, we cannot be sure.

Spectral/numerological:

Based on a suggestion we got from the Kansas City Police Department, we broke the photo down into its most prominent colors, matched them to their Pantone® equivalents, then took those values, added the first three and divided the sum by the fourth number, and the number we ended up with, 6.374, is an interesting, helpful clue.

Now here's where it gets interesting: Lee's Movie Info reveals that on September 6, 1999, one movie happened to make a gross of exactly 6.374 million dollars. That movie? "The Sixth Sense."

THE SIX(!) PEOPLE IN THE PHOTO ARE ALL DEAD.

This Is How We Do Graffiti In The Jersey Suburbs, Y'all

Spotted on the NJ Transit train: