UAG

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

Berner & Styles P were delighted that the IKEA cafeteria offered plates of broccoli.

Eric finished his album cover and then returned the safety scissors to Ms. Hannigan's desk.

"You called a Lyft?"

Soulja Boy not only is a terrible rapper - he also has trouble storing his money and thinks airport runways are good places to park.

When Party City doesn't have licensed Star Wars costumes, Kent Jones is forced to wear "Death Space Villain."

In my old man experience, any album that has the word "purp" or "trap" automatically sucks.

And so far, I haven't been wrong.

Somebody mixed their Allegra with their ketamine.

Guess what his favorite movie is (it rhymes with "Spar Trace")?

No regrets at all, B? Not even the man bun?

Spotted On 2nd Avenue

A banner for an upcoming hospital that I swear was for an upcoming shitty romantic comedy starring Katherine Heigl (or Kate Hudson) and Ryan Reynolds (or Owen Wilson).



Coming Soon: Urgent Care, the story of a pretty but harried nurse who's too busy taking care of others... when she should be caring for her heart.

(cue Peter Gabriel's "Solsbury Hill")
Meet Allison. (shot of Katherine Heigl (or Anne Hathaway) carrying a stack of bed pans)

She's in charge at St. Bartholomew, until she meets the new resident, Doctor Halbert (shot of Ryan Reynolds (or Gerard Butler) walking slo-mo down the hall with a clipboard.)

(cut to her running into him, dropping all the bedpans. Katherine Heigl (or Rachel McAdams) gets all huffy while Ryan Reynolds (or Channing Tatum) smiles dumbly)

Things in the ER just got a little more intense. (cut to montage of hectic and sometimes wacky events happening in the hospital which culminates with Katherine Heigl (or Scarlett Johansson) and Ryan Reynolds (or Hugh Jackman) inevitably falling in love)

(cue "Everywhere" by Michelle Branch)


Urgent Care. Rated PG-13. In theatres Jan 4 and on DVD the next week.

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I guess I've been conditioned to associate big red type for shitty comedies over the years.


Amazing how Eddie Murphy is in most of them.

EADJ FTW!

Hey, remember that July EADJ entry where we totally ragged on TGI Fridays' chef / "food dude" Guy Fieri?


Well, I guess he couldn't take it, cuz look how sad he is now on a more recent menu cover.


EADJ fucked your mother, Fieri! Cock a doodle ballsack!