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The Consumer Electronics Show 2019: What To Expect

A few months from now, industry leaders will be announcing the latest, most cutting edge electronics for consumers. Here's a sneak peek at what's in store at the convention:

• a Pringles can- WITH BLUETOOTH!

• Red Roof Inns will introduce beds that scan for sexually transmitted diseases the moment you finish having extramarital sex in one

• Digital Kayla- all the features of Kayla, except with digital clarity and speed

• The triumphant announcement of Internet Explorer 56

• Some VR bullshit, but now with new bullshit

• Tim Cook will weep in a corner and not take any questions

• A USB stick you can stab someone in prison with

• Free "Huawei or the Highway" t-shirts

• Confused appearance by the cast of "Supernatural"

Today We Wonder What Regrettable Tattoos The Riders In The NJ Transit Survey Photo Probably Have On Their Bodies

"Jesse" wanted something cool and futuristic, plus something to commemorate his days working as an audio editor at his local news station, so he got this semi-tribal reel-to-reel spool on his left leg, above the knee.

"Jess's" wild lifestyle back in 1999, plus her interest in "Star Wars: The Phantom Menace's" Darth Maul led her to get this aggressive design tattooed inside her lower lip.

"Angie" was dating a dentist at the time. He was a bodybuilder. She doesn't like talking about it.

Two guesses where "Trina" had these tattooed.

"Don With The Thumbs" got this interesting design on his back, only to find out later that this is a Russian criminal tattoo which was widespread in corrective labor institutions of the Urals.

"Simon Peter" doesn't regret getting this tattoo of a red-eyed bull doing curls on his chest, mainly because he is an idiot.

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

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