Upcoming Double Feature

A semi-political comedy from 1999 featuring a young Michelle Williams and Kirsten Dunst (71% Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes) coupled with a 2010 Swedish comedy directed by Josef Fares (unrated on Rotten Tomatoes, but 46% Rotten Audience Score) makes for a great night in with your hand in your sweatpants!

A Mini Smecial Dreams Entry

An Imagined Conversation

The One On The Left: What are we doing today.

The One On The Right: Nothing. Neither of us have jobs.

The One On The Left: Nope. So what are we going to do, then.

The One On The Right: I know– let's get dressed up and get photographed.

The One On The Left: Why.

 The One On The Right: I dunno. For the hell of it. What else are we going to do. Read? Work?

The One On The Left: LOL. Okay, we could put our hair up in stupid buns and go to a premier where lots of cameras are and have our picture taken.

The One On The Right: And then our pictures will spread on social media, and more stupid people will follow us.

The One On The Left: And then we can somehow parlay all the new attention into some sort of endorsement deal so we can have more money to buy more stupid clothes to get photographed in.

The One On The Right: It's kind of a vicious cycle.

The One On The Left: Why were we even born.

Let's Cede All Political Power To The EADJ Mail Sack!

Submitted by Andrew, who just moved into a Chicago apartment with his wife. Some items left by the previous tenants:

"special move-in welcome dicks"

A Short List of Things Joel Hates

Since we haven't heard from the eponymous Joel in a while, here's a recent list he submitted of things he hates:


Joel also hates:

• Not eating dick
• Eating dick and it's over already
• Thinking you ate dick but turns out you didn't
• Never having enough dick sauce handy
• Asking for dick sauce and the waiter gives you duck sauce
• Eating duck without dick
• Eating dick and there's duck all up in it for some reason
• The blog Eat A Duck Joel
• Knowing there's so much uneaten dick out there
• The phrase "chunk o' change." So lame, people!
• Anti-dick
• People who drive Jaguars and think they're all that
• Waiters who are chintzy with the dick