In The Next Issue of THE KNITTER

• Knitting vs. Fucking- No Contest

• Rib Stitch vs. Seed Stitch: The Decades Old Rivalry Heats Up

• Why Are You Reading This When You Could Be Knitting?

• How The Basket Stitch Pattern For Beginners is Promoting Communism

• Kanye Doesn't Knit: Just Another Reason To Hate Him

• How "Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker" Ruined The Entire Saga

• Why REAL Knitters Use Circular Knitting Needles

• Fuck You, Knit Me

• How Bruce Springsteen and The Entire E Street Band Took Up Knitting On The Road and Really Learned To Love The Craft, Arguably Even More Than Making Music Which They Would Never Admit

25 Days of Hallmark Movies, Day 12: "Christmas In Evergreen: Letters To Santa"

If the title seems unwieldy to you, it's because it's the second movie about a fictional town called Evergreen. Apparently the response to the first one was so good that they decided to build a whole mythology around the town using the same bit characters from before–like the Marvel Cinematic Universe but with even more MacGuffins and harder to believe leaps of faith.

Teddy Sears from the first movie is not in this new installment, but Ashley Williams had an hour to spare to show up and say some words.

Romance Factor: 4 out of 10

Christmas Cheer: 8 out of 10

Overall Rating: 6 out of 10

Time Until First Kiss: 01:22:09

Yet Still Even More Taglines For A Movie That No One Ever Saw

UAG