Some More Memorable Lines From Movies I Haven't Watched

Her: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Him: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Cameo by Will Ferrell: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

"You think you man enough to climb me? Climb my face, bitch."

"No, they are not real. None of this is."

"Jeez, I knew the whole office hated Alison, but this is over the top, guys."

"Can we have a deadly night out for once? I don't feel like having a deadly night in again."

More Memorable Lines From Movies I Haven't Watched

"Is that a horn in your pants?"

"Yes."

*shoots foot*

Anthony Hopkins: "Ah, yes... Trust is reciprocal, you see. It goes both ways... That's what the word 'reciprocal' means. I'm required to explain this because some people watching won't know it."

*shoots guy who shot his own foot*

♪ She gets too hungry, for dinner at three

She loves Transformers but not Bumblebee

 Doesn't have Netflix but still has Qui-bi

 That's why the lady is a square ♪

"You just farted. Can I crack a window?"

"Before I can see you, do you have what robo-insurance do you have?"

"MORTAL KOMBAT!" (yelled by old lady)

(in Mid Atlantic accent) "I bet yer one of those fellas that say 'no' to gals all the time. Telling them they can't do this or can't do that. Well, let me tell ya buster, I'm my own woman and don't have to listen to you or any other man or woman or robot or anything that can talk to tell me what I can or can't do. You hear me? I'm going to light and smoke this cigarette right here no matter what anybody tells me!"

"What death salad dressing would you like on your death salad?"

"Oh shoot. I thought you asked me to PRESS THE BREAK. My bad."

"Enough with the cheeky double entendres. LET'S FUCK!"

"I See Heaven's Glories Shine and Pathmark Shines Equal." -Emily Bronte

When I Say "Path," You Say "Mark." "PATH!..."

The Off-Brand TP Roundup: The Trump Era

Brand: Keep It Green

Brand Imagery: Green swirls, green lettering, and a green butterfly

Brand Promise: The earth won't die if you shit with this

Feels Like: Whatever you're wiping with has already biodegraded into mulch

Brand: Ocean Drive 2 Ply

Brand Imagery: An oval badge showing a road winding around a tidal wave into a sunset

Brand Promise: The promise of a fun road trip away from wet disaster

Feels Like: Very thin, sun-baked asphalt in roll form

Brand: Silky Soft

Brand Imagery: Periwinkle mosaic tiles and a SUDOKU(????!!!!)

Brand Promise: This brand sounds like a rapper that will soothe you with his rhymes

Feels Like: Riding an untamed horse with a burlap saddle through a thorn bush

Brand: TOILET TISSUE

Brand Imagery: Black and green argyle, white space

Brand Promise: This will technically count as toilet tissue

Feels Like: The very minimal that the government can approve as 2-ply. Gitmo ready.

Brand: White Swan

Brand Imagery: An S-shaped swan. Piss yellow flower background

Brand Promise: A soft-as-down pooping experience

Feels Like: Angry miniature geese and swans biting your balls and anus.

Brand: RETOIN? RETAIN?

Brand Imagery: Confusing recycling logo in the middle of the name. An inexplicable Nintendo logo

Brand Promise: "Why are you reading the label? Shit already!"

Feels Like: The paper-to-ass equivalent of the Kids Bop Kids version of your favorite song

UAG

Some Alternate Taglines For The Movie "Shark Exorcist," Which Could Use All The Help It Can Get

The original stupid tagline:

Some new stupid taglines that we came up with: