UAG

6 Lies Told By The Museum of Natural History's Butterfly Conservatory Brochure

1) "Tropical butterflies alive in winter." If by "alive" you mean forced to stay indoors with limited access to Netflix, you could say the butterflies are alive.

2) That is actually famed butterfly impersonator Daniel Hallenbach, doing his best Cydno Longwing impression. Please tip him well!

3) Courtenay here is more into millipedes, but she posed for this photo for the college credit.

4) Justin actually posed with a butterfly in this photo, but the editors took it out to make him look dumb.

5) "Tickets to Butterflies include admission to the Museum and the Rose Center for Earth and Space." What they don't tell you is that you should go to the Rose Center first, because if you walk into there with butterflies in your sweater or hair, Jerome working the desk will swat the shit out of you in a panic.

6) The museum stole this URL from the Armenian Milliners of New Hampshire, a polite group of Turkish-related laborers keen on putting hats on North Americans.

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We are proud to announce the "6 Lies Told" Charity Auction for Change, co-sponsored by the Make A Difference! Foundation and GetGoing.org. The Charity Auction will be a four day event to benefit people whose lives were changed forever by 6 Lies. Participants are invited to wear a magenta wristband (pictured above) to show solidarity with the 6 Lies survivors. Items to be sold at auction:

• Dax Shepard's helmet from "CHiPs"

• A ham

• Henry Kissinger's tit prints, signed

• The movie rights to the "Ender's Game" franchise

• A pair of socks with "DIG DEEPER" printed on the bottom

• Heroin

• Handmade glue bombs

• A free $25 salon visit to any salon of your choice, provided it's located in Berkeley Heights, NJ

• Real validation from your peers

Ray Cyst Up Lion Sis (Read It Out Loud)

(THE TITLE SAYS 'RACIST APPLIANCES,' DUMMY)

UAG

A Work Of Art

Spotted in South Orange, New Jersey, this exquisite outdoor sculpture of unknown origin.


What's interesting about this soaring, monumental piece is that it seems the bright, solid opposite of a grave and strikes at the whole definition of sculpture right away. It does not suggest flight or the ability to fly or even movement, but rather it plays the role of intermediary between the sky and the earth. The solid, consistent mass of the base holds it to the earth by the force of gravity. Art critics are instantly reminded of the bold organic lines of Alexander Calder's La Grande Voile or Merete Rasmussen's clear, clean curves.


This sculpture can be viewed in front of Cleanway Car Wash, where you can get a brushless carwash, interior detailing job, hubcap waxing, and floor mat laundering for only $29.99. SUVs are $5 extra.

When Did I Turn Into A Troll?

Today I was on the "Michael Jackson - Black Or White" YouTube page (????????????????????) and watched the nonsensical intro starring Macaulay Culkin and George Wendt from "Cheers."


(Note the unfortunate contextual banner ad)

I wrote a comment about it and found myself minutes later in kind of a comment war from a devoted Michael Jackson fan. I think I might have won.


You can visit the actual page with the subsequent comment war here.