UAG

Task Chair Is Amused

BAHAHAHAHAAHA! TASK CHAIR IS DYING HERE. YOU HAD EVERY CHANCE TO BUY TASK CHAIR TO GET TASKS DONE, BUT THEN LOOK WHAT YOU PUT OUT ON THE CURB THIS MORNING:

 

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! WHAT KIND OF WEAK-ASS, NON-ERGONOMIC MEN IN BLACK ROUND BULLSHIT DID YOU JUST PUT IN YOUR HOME OFFICE? THAT SHIT WILL NEVER BE HIGH ENOUGH FOR YOU TO SIT IN A COMFORTABLE POSITION TO WORK. OH, YOU CAN TRY ADJUSTING ITS HEIGHT WITH THAT WEAK ASS LEVER, BUT TRUST TASK CHAIR, YOU'LL BE REACHING UP FOR YOUR LAPTOP LIKE RALPHIE TRYING TO CRAWL BACK TO SANTA ON THAT DEPARTMENT STORE SLIDE. WHICH IF YOU ASK TASK CHAIR LOOKED LIKE A LOT OF FUN BUT I'VE NEVER REALLY SEEN AT ANY SHOPPING MALLS. I GUESS IT WAS JUST FOR THE MOVIE OR WAS AN OLD SANTA CLAUS PRACTICE THAT DIED OUT DURING THAT ERA FOR INSURANCE LIABILITY REASONS. BUT TASK CHAIR DIGRESSES!

OH, POOR NON-TASK CHAIR OWNER. YOU'D BE BETTER OFF SITTING ON THAT CARDBOARD BOX HHAAHHAHAHAH ENJOY YOUR CARPAL TUNNEL AND ACHING LUMBAR. SUCK TASK CHAIR'S DICK!

Now On Blu-Ray

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of September 30

Twitter is full of crackpots, trolls, dipshits and attention whores. But even they refuse to use certain hashtags because they have a reputation to keep. Here now are a few of the least used hashtags that you are certainly welcome to add to your Twitfeed:

#Chucky'sprivates

#HotTopicgiftregistry

#cerealboxtopsforsex

#prosandconsofdiarrhea

#stillquotingCaddyshack

#plungerfullofguacamole

#undercoverbosswantsyoufired

#CivilWarreenactmentdatingsiteforracists

#IamnotbeingsarcasticrightnowImserious

#1hournonstopofAllIWantForChristmasbyMariahCarey