Latest Alerts From Your Nest Detector

11/7/21      1:34pm      Checked status: OK

11/7/21      3:20pm      Detected movement in living room- probably rat or dog

11/7/21      4:10pm      Detected Toby taking another Toby dump

11/7/21      4:18pm      Detected that Toby did NOT flush; turned on fan

11/7/21      5:20pm      Smoke in kitchen- probably Gary trying to cook again

11/7/21      5:38pm      Detected argument between Toby and Gary

11/7/21      6:10pm      Heard loud slap

11/7/21      7:33pm      Heard "Levitating" by Dua Lipa (ft. Da Baby) upstairs

11/7/21      8:52pm      Heard "Levitating" by Dua Lipa (ft. Da Baby) upstairs

11/7/21      9:38pm      Heard "Levitating" by Dua Lipa (ft. Da Baby) upstairs

11/7/21      9:40pm      Turned off power to Amazon Echo upstairs. Jesus.

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

Chedda didn't care if his friends made fun of him- he bowled his best games with the 5 lb. kiddie ball.

"Aw, shit. Your ass just got CHUBSNUGGED!"

A quick peek inside the giant blue condom showed the prevention of at least eight hopeful emcees.

This is appropriate because people desperately want DJ Clue to go away and die but he keeps coming back again and again with shitty reverb sound effects.

"Hi, I'm La Chat, and I'll be your hibachi chef tonight. No, Joe Watanabe is out sick, but I got you, honey."

Jody and Ernie stood at the valet stand for an awkward 10 minutes before realizing someone stole their car.

Young Dolph later got an official cease and desist letter from the Nation of Zamunda.

CHUBSNUGGED!