The National Fire Protection Association Bag Graphics: Decoded

By now you and all American citizens should have received your National Fire Protection Association Bag in the mail. Many of you must be wondering what the characters on the bag graphics are thinking in this particular scene. EADJ and the NFPA have teamed up to provide this helpful guide:

1) "I'm 65 and can still work this over-the-knee knitted dress. God, I'm fuckable."

2) "I bet it would be pretty funny to pull this service dog's tail."

3) "Hey, it's Sparky the Fire Protection Dog! Let's go see, honey!"

4) "DO NOT FUCKING PUSH ME, JONATHAN."

5) "Dude, I am tripping major balls. That dog has fingers."

6) "Heil Hitler!"

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of September 30

Twitter is full of crackpots, trolls, dipshits and attention whores. But even they refuse to use certain hashtags because they have a reputation to keep. Here now are a few of the least used hashtags that you are certainly welcome to add to your Twitfeed:

#Chucky'sprivates

#HotTopicgiftregistry

#cerealboxtopsforsex

#prosandconsofdiarrhea

#stillquotingCaddyshack

#plungerfullofguacamole

#undercoverbosswantsyoufired

#CivilWarreenactmentdatingsiteforracists

#IamnotbeingsarcasticrightnowImserious

#1hournonstopofAllIWantForChristmasbyMariahCarey

Coming This Fall on ABC

"Brynn 'nn Matt"
Tuesdays 8/7 C
60 min, Drama

Two young executives try to make it in the big city, helping each other get ahead and living life day by day. But will the two get romantically involved? Series creator and Executive Producer Steven Bochco calls this "a cross between Eli Stone and some other show with young executives finding their way blah blah blah." The soundtrack will feature artists like Counting Crows, Jack Johnson, Tristan Prettyman, The Dave Matthews Band, Feist (no, not that song), Anna Nalick, The All-American Rejects, Kanye West, and Cannibal Corpse.


A scene from episode 1.3, "Crossfire"


A scene from episode 1.6, "Tonight We Dance"


A scene from episode 1.8, "To Arms"


A scene from episode 1.9, "Coincidences"


A scene from the unnamed season finale.