New Benefits Of An AMC Stubs Rewards Membership

To get more people in their theaters, AMC has updated the membership perks you can get from their Stubs Rewards program. Here now are the latest program improvements you can enjoy if you sign up now:

• UNO reverse cards do not work on you

• Unlimited refills of hoisin sauce

• Free lumbar support pillow that reeks of cheese for some reason

• Less likelihood that our concession stand employees will spit in your face

• You can park your car in the handicapped seating area in Theatre 6 

• Purple filters for your 3D glasses so movies look shitty, 3D, and purple

• You can defecate in your popcorn bucket instead of going to the restroom

• Mandatory screening of Pixar's "Elemental"

• Free AMC-branded sweater vest (can only wear on AMC premises)