Friday, February 12, 2021

Cool New Unlockable Perks of the Xbox 2021 Game Pass

 

Hey all you rad gamers! Xbox is thrilled to announce the latest Game Pass updates, so if you're not a XBGP subscriber yet, join now and get these fantastic membership perks:

• Free out of style Xbox Game Pass trucker hat

• Free online tutorial telling you the difference between "there", "they're", and "their" for online chat!

• Ability to trade in your V-Bucks or Robux for jewels, gems or Stanley nickels

• Free girlfriend or boyfriend (1 month trial only)

• Phone call with old gamer who can tell you all about "Battletoads" and how it was the shit back when

• Free mandatory download of U2's "Songs of Innocence"

• Ability to make fun of people without the 2021 Xbox Game Pass

• 6 month Ghetto Pass

• Lifetime supply of expired Bed Bath & Beyond 20% off coupons

• +5000 free followers on Twitch

• Free Lara Croft bra

• Date with PewDiePie (must be super-hot)

• Free worthless skin for any game that you never play anymore


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