Hey all you rad gamers! Xbox is thrilled to announce the latest Game Pass updates, so if you're not a XBGP subscriber yet, join now and get these fantastic membership perks:
• Free out of style Xbox Game Pass trucker hat
• Free online tutorial telling you the difference between "there", "they're", and "their" for online chat!
• Ability to trade in your V-Bucks or Robux for jewels, gems or Stanley nickels
• Free girlfriend or boyfriend (1 month trial only)
• Phone call with old gamer who can tell you all about "Battletoads" and how it was the shit back when
• Free mandatory download of U2's "Songs of Innocence"
• Ability to make fun of people without the 2021 Xbox Game Pass
• 6 month Ghetto Pass
• Lifetime supply of expired Bed Bath & Beyond 20% off coupons
• +5000 free followers on Twitch
• Free Lara Croft bra
• Date with PewDiePie (must be super-hot)
• Free worthless skin for any game that you never play anymore
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