"We got a red notice in the mail, Pa."
"Is that a good or bad thing?"
"I dunno. Should we shoot it?"
"...And even though I'm only 11, I managed to play Cupid and get my Mom to start dating Jabian, even though I knew in advance that he had herpes which he could spread to her."
"Oh, I didn't mention. I'm actually triplets."
"Emanuelle, why are you using the men's bathroom?"
(in unconvincing southern accent) "Well, lemme tell you, I was the talk of the bridge club that day. But with a little southern charm and a positive attitude, I was run out of town on my ear in less than a week!"
"It's your turn to mow the yard."
"Shit."
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