Alex Jones's band of talented conspiracy writers work 'round the clock to give you the freshest, most mooseshit right-wing theories on "Info Wars." Here are just a few of those items that Alex plans to squeeze out his mouth hole next week:
• Apple's Siri is actually an ISIS operative. Think about it– they use the SAME EXACT LETTERS
• Fresh guacamole is made from illegal immigrant women's tears, which is why it is so goddamned DELICIOUS Y'ALL
• Hillary Clinton is a T-800 model Terminator sent from the past to kill Donald Trump Jr. before he can father more Trumps. Luckily, she failed and is awaiting decommissioning.
• The X-Men movie series are coded with frequencies to hypnotizing you into forgetting that your life is a series of disappointing failures and missteps and that you should probably stop spreading hate to cover up your personal failures.
• Anal warts was originally created in a lab by Democrats to reduce the size of the voting population so that only uninfected could pick the next President. Clearly this backfired, and the anal-warted almost elected another Obama-type in 2016. WE MUST REMAIN STRONG!
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