Monday, January 11, 2016

The EADJ Lost Weave Report

Editor's note: The EADJ Lost Weave Report is a periodic run-down of errant, unclaimed hair weaves and hair-like objects that are found around the tri-state area. This is our first report:

Location: Walgreens, Union, NJ
Weave Spotted: Clump of hair with piece of leaf and part of toothpick
Action Taken: Put in envelope, mailed to Ashley Olsen (not Mary-Kate)

Location: The Prudential Building, Newark, NJ
Weave Spotted: Mass of spindly hair rolling on the sidewalk, also possible string
Action Taken: Given a stern lecture on loitering. Sent to the library to look for work

Location: On steps of subway, Financial District, NYC
Weave Spotted: Possible rat remains tangled with lollipop wrapper and stick
Action Taken: Sold it $45 million in credit default swaps against various vulnerable subprime deals

Location: Golden Corral parking lot, Frederick, MD
Weave Spotted: Clipped ponytail or piece of dream catcher
Action Taken: Brought back into Golden Corral, dropped into the New England Clam Chowder

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