As the first semester enters its second month, we at EADJ would like to remind everyone that we've adopted the demerit system on this blog. And unfortunately, we have a lot of demerits to give out.
• 1 demerit to those Aamco or Maaco or whatever the fuck commercials where those people make irritating car noises with their mouths.
• 1 demerit to Josh Brolin for not starring in anything awesome in the past 3 months.
• 2 demerits to Gisele Bundchen for opening her stupid fucking mouth again.
• 1 demerit to the word "defibrillator" for being so hard to spell or pronounce.
• 3 demerits to Paul Shaffer for still doing that "pointing" move.
• 5 demerits to Green Giant Steamers for reminding me of poop with your name.
• 2 demerits to Carson Daly for his hosting duties on "The Voice" and reminding us that he has no musical talent or charisma.
• 3 demerits to Asplundh. You know what you did.
• 8 demerits to guys who leave gum in urinals
• 2 demerits to Joel for having filmed ONLY ONE CRISS ANGEL MINDFREAK TRICK.
• 4 demerits to Four Square for not making me Mayor of Jiffy Lube #425 in Newark.
• 848 demerits to Bobby Brown.
• 3 demerits to Maybelline (no reason given)
• 2 demerits to that recent Tron movie for not being better.
• 7 demerits to my bladder for making me tinkle when I farted just then.
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