Thursday, April 15, 2010

EADJ Pun Police: Steven Seagal Edition


So you think you're tough, puns? You think your play on words makes you special? I'll show you who's tough. I'm the toughest there is. You've never seen a tougher sonofabitch than me.

*cracks knuckles*



"Holmes for the holiday?" You mean to tell me you released this movie on Christmas just so you could use that stupid pun? Gimme a break. C'mere.

*grabs pun by the hair, snaps neck*


I really feel sorry for you sons of bitches who think you got a shot against me. You think you're clever, but you're not. I'm laughing not because you're funny, but because you're pathetic.

*spins pun around, breaks arm, snaps neck*


Get the fuck out of here. Are you even trying?

*snaps neck*


Okay. Lucky shot. You got a good hit in there.

*wipes blood off bottom lip*

That's not gonna happen again.

*knees pun in the groin, sexually harasses it, snaps neck*


I get it. It's a market. So they put "market on your calendar." Real cute. But not cute enough.

*grabs pun by the neck, spins it around, feels its boobs, puts his tongue between the boobs, snaps neck*


Sure, there's a lot of you, but I can handle it. Come at me!

*seizes pun by the boobs, spins it against a wall, feels the boobs, spins it around, slaps its ass with his dick, snaps neck*


You just don't learn, do you? You're all a bunch of losers!

*sits on the floor, plays with flaccid penis, weeps, snaps own neck*

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