A Point-By-Point Refutation of Some Star Wars Crap Junk Mail

Before we begin, it must be noted here that I am a HUGE Star Wars fan. So much so that I own a Stormtrooper suit and have the original trilogy on my iPod for instant viewing. But when I received this blatantly patronizing junk mail selling me an overpriced ceramic model of the Mos Eisley cantina the other week, and I felt more insulted the more I read it. Here is the direct mail piece:

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And here is the accompanying letter:

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The fine folks at Hawthorne Village saw fit to write me a double-sided letter about why I should sink $59.95 on a breakable dust catcher that has all the playability of your Grandma's candy dish. And that's not so far off, considering Hawthorne Village also hocks musical ceramic Christmas trees, breakable miniature trains and utterly smashable Precious Moments figurines. And not just one dust catcher, either. It's the first in a series of "Star Wars Galactic Village" ceramic scenes licensed by Lucasfilm Ltd™! But in order to extract $59.99 x 3 out of Star Wars fans, they had to really lay on the honey. It is here that I spit that honey back in their ceramic faces. Enjoy!










Tune in soon for my point-by-point refutation of the 2nd installment of this junk mail series. And if you're wondering: no, I didn't buy one. Yet. Shut up, man.