Hey Bill. It's me, Jeremy.
Listen, man, I've worked with you here in Downtown Gas for a good year and a half, and we've gotten to know each other pretty well in the garage, so I feel like I know you enough to just go out and say this:
You shouldn't be dating that Uptown Girl.
I know, the other guys (Jeff in particular) think it's great that you've not only found a girl who's not insane (LOL!) but one as classy and famous as that Uptown Girl. You haven't had a lot of luck with women for a while, and it's good to see you so happy when you're working on motors. You haven't even gotten mad this week when I've taken longer smoke breaks. Believe me, I've noticed!
But something tells me that this relationship you have with this woman isn't such a good idea. It just doesn't add up. I mean, she's incredibly famous, modeling for Uptown Cosmetics and swimsuit pin-ups, and she rides around in a freakin' Rolls Royce, for crying out loud. Have you ever even worked on one of those? Why would she be crossing town to hang out with grease monkeys like us?
Now, before you fly off the handle and get defensive, don't think I'm judging you. I know you're a stand up guy, and you're not just dating her for her money. If it were about money, you'd have sold Downtown Gas to that fancy-pants golf course developer, am I right?
I'm just saying, I've seen girls with money date "backstreet guys" like us before, and it's never worked out. These dames do get bored of their high class toys, and all the presents from their uptown boys, but a few months later, they get sick of paying for bowling and pizza and want to be treated to a nice filet mignon or champagne. They go "slumming" for a month, then head back Uptown to the life they're used to. I'm just warning you not to get your heart broke, Bill.
If you still don't believe me, I've talked to some married guy with kids whose life she almost ruined, who can confirm that she's a tease. I'll give you his number. His name is Clark Griswold.
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