A hunger that cannot be sated. A man who will not be denied.

It's a good thing no one put a dick-eat-ometer on Joel. How could you ever read it with the numbers going so fast?

Joel put in a good day's work today, putting away enough dick to fill four Shea Stadiums. And all this effort has paid off: his admirers have grown exponentially. Joy Behar from The View mentioned Joel before the first commercial break this morning. Robin Meade on CNN introduced a new segment on her morning show devoted to Joel named "Robin's Joel Eat That Dick Corner." A clumsily named segment, to be sure, but only to differentiate it from John Stossel's.

One would think that all this press attention would be a burden on Joel. But sources close to him have gone on record, saying that it has actually liberated him. He's all like, "Look at me! Look at how much cock I can chug!" now.

We can all learn from Joel's example. Except apply it to whatever we like to do, all the time.

(pictured above, Andrew grapples with his irrational phobia of pickles)