Another Mini-Smecial Dreams Entry

Both of these submitted by Andrew, who is easily the biggest Smecial Dreams contributor of all time:

EADJ Is Brought To You This Week By Springer Dog Exerciser

Do you and your dog love the outdoors? Does one of you like to get exercise? Then gear up with the Springer Dog Exerciser, a revolutionary new way to take your dog for a walk without getting off your fat ass! Ride around the park while your dog struggles to keep up! Coast through busy streets while your dog tromps his way over potholes and sleeping hobos just to stop from getting strangled!

But don't take our word for it. Here's Internationally Known Dog Fighter Doctor Yuri Dotretskov: 

"Put spring on bike. Spring hold leash. Dog forced to follow bike."

And just listen to what some of our customers have to say:

"They say that eating right and getting exercise is the best way to a long, healthy life. For dogs. I'll have a Quarter Pounder with Cheese large combo. With a Diet Coke. Is the sundae machine working?" -Amber, 29 on the phone

"I hate exercise almost as much as I hate my dog. Thanks, Springer Dog Exerciser!" -Pete, 28

"Hurry the fuck up, Lola! We have to get home to catch the 'Dancing With The Stars' recap show!"  -Margaret, 38

Springer Dog Exerciser. Now You Got The Hook Up™!

Robo Morphers: Less Than Meets The Eye

As Christmas approaches, tons of blogs and TV shows roll out their annual gift ideas sections, suggesting solar-powered foot massagers or baseball-themed golf accessories and golf-themed baseball accessories. But what most of them ignore is that kids (especially boys) still want only one thing: Transformers.

Yes, undeterred by the failure of "Transformers 2: Rise Of The Fallen" and the underwhelming overwhelming of "Transformers 3: Dark Of The Moon," scores of kids still want transforming robots in their lives.


And who can blame them? Shit is awesome. The idea of a truck transforming into a fighting biped robot is almost irresistible to most male brains (except Andy Dick).



But as I was perusing the aisles of K-Mart the other day, I happened upon a cheaper alternative to the famous Autobots:




Sad, right? I felt so bad for this Endcap of Misfit Toys, that I bought three of them to examine what made them special.





Here are some quick clips of what the toys sound like:







Wow, it almost sounds as if the toymakers were too cheap to record three different sounds and just applied the same one to all three.

And... here they come! Robo Morphers: Stay assembled!