Let's Buy Up All the Rare Copies of the EADJ Mail Sack!

Submitted by Mig: Meta AI thinks a dumb chat he saved as his profile pic would make for a great tattoo.

Shit. Maybe it would.

Let's Use Excessive IG Filters On The EADJ Mail Sack!

Submitted by Mig via text:

"This rapping DJ looks like she hangs out at Jabba's palace."

This Is Too Good To Label As Just An "EADJ Mail Sack" Entry

This was brought to my attention by the nonfictional person Mig Ponce. It's an article in the April 2008 issue of Real Simple Magazine, which blows my mind that Mig actually read.


The article is about "America's Five Star Products," which scoured the best-reviewed items on the Internet. For music, they turned to the reviews on Amazon. Now take a look at that second bullet there.


"Looking For-Best of David Hasselhoff [Import]?" Now, there is NO POSSIBLE WAY that could be a legitimately high-ranked CD, you might say, and you'd be right.

In honesty, what the fine folks at Real Simple Magazine had stumbled upon is this Amazon review page, which is full of hundreds of joke reviews of David Hasselhoff's terrible album. And I am proud to say that I myself had started the very first of these glowing, enthusiastic reviews back in 2001. Seriously.

What happened was I had been laid off and was working the third shift at Kinko's, which gets awfully boring at 3am, and I simply started writing joke reviews of David Hasselhoff's unbearable album to amuse myself. I made sure to sign off every review with the phrase "The song 'Hot Shot City' is particularly good."


Fast forward to today, where there are over a thousand ridiculously loving reviews of Hasselhoff's CD, all giving it five stars. And people have carried on the tradition of ending their review with "The song 'Hot Shot City' is particularly good."

Is the album that bad? Oh man, absolutely. Here's "Hot Shot City," just so you know how bad it is:



I myself haven't left a review on that Amazon page in quite a while. Amazon has since cracked down on how many fake aliases you can create to post a review, etc etc. But you are welcome to carry on this hallowed, decade-long tradition. Go ahead and leave your own, keeping this seminal album of his on top of the charts! Mig Ponce earns a special Mollusk award at the bottom of this website. ↓


The song "Hot Shot City" is particulary good.

Let's Bathe With Olive Oil And Potpourri In The EADJ Mail Sack!

Submitted by Mig Ponce via text:


And submitted by Jessica via text:


Apparently Goatse got divorced?