Spotted on FB

The description at the bottom:

"Sexy maid outfit can be worn to clean your house."

"Can be". Would also help if the person wearing the outfit were able or willing to clean your house. Dressing up a dog as a bear doesn't make it suddenly a bear, ya dig?

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

Everybody's Going Green

In response to new U.S. efforts to reshape energy habits, individuals around the world have pledged to be more environmentally conscious. Among these:


Bill O'Reilly has vowed to be half the overheated gasbag that he is.

Michael Knight will walk more.

Las Vegas has announced turning the lights off in casinos that aren't winning big.

Amy Winehouse has stopped using tampons altogether.

"Weird Al" Yankovic will switch to using biofuels, making him almost 30% less weird.

The 1954 Penguins song "Earth Angel" will be played in a loop on the loudspeaker at Nascar events.

Optimus Prime will transform into a truck only when absolutely necessary.

Pornstar Jenna Jameson will recycle more. No, that's not a dirty double entendre. She will actually separate her trash from her recyclables. You guys need to grow up.

Africa will use its light bulb less.

Dane Cook and Carlos Mencia will steal only earth-friendly material from other comedians.

Demolition derbies are now just guys in helmets shoving each other.

The Applebee's waitstaff will be way less enthusiastic about your birthday.

Fiji bottled water will continue to ship their overpriced water in huge plastic bottles across thousands of miles, but they will advertise more about how they've told their truck drivers not to use so many paper napkins during lunch breaks.

Kinko's is working on paperless ways to spectacularly fuck up your copies.

Douchebags on jet skis have offered to paddle more.

M. Night Shyamalan is working on a movie starring Mark Wahlberg that conveys a message about our impact on the planet, but in a thought-provoking, suspenseful, and altogether unforgettable way.

Taco Bell announced its new Recycled Cloth Soft Taco.

The AOL start page now reroutes visitors directly to porn sites.

1st and Joel. On the Dick Yard Line.

Joel had a yard sale today.

Some of the items sold:

Leaky bean bag chair
86 Hummels
Somebody's polyp in a jar
Mötley Crüe Mirror from a state fair
A dirty 38DD bra
4 Fandango paper sack puppets
Nancy Grace 12" action figure
Green Day "Dookie" album
2-month old Bangladesh baby
various "Just Shoot Me" memorabilia
rickets

Joel counted his money at about 1 pm and found he had made $66.24. That's enough for him to buy at least 4 dicks to eat for dinner! Way to go, Joel!

(pictured above, what I thought was a rerun of a crappy old Sandra Bullock movie turns out to be a trailer for a brand new crappy Sandra Bullock movie)