More Stupid Conspiracy Theories For Alex Jones's Stupid Listeners

By now, we should all know that Alex Jones's "Info Wars" is scripted. How else could he spout so many nonsensical, byzantine explanations to fit a far-right, bigoted, pigheaded narrative every day like that? Here are the latest conspiracy stories the writers are working on:

• How SNL is a subliminal recruiting tool for pedophile veterinarians

• Rest stop or rest area? How the homosexual Underground Railroad tells the two apart.

• Toll booth EZ-Pass: a cashless road to Hell

• The real reason the bouncer at the strip club won't let you touch Candy: He fancies you.

• January 6, 2001: How the U.S. Capitol Attack separated the pussies from the patriots

• How Beaker is actually Dr. Bunsen Honeydew's adopted son but has never found out.

 

2021's Least Used Hashtags

We all know Twitter is a den of wannabes and haters, posting pointless high school gossip bullshit but with grown ups and at an international level, Here are the hashtags that they used THE LEAST last year:

#Tucker

#WalkerHayesGrammy

#bringbackWynonnaEarp

#Teslatruckpussymagnet

#CriticalRaceTheorycoloringbooks

#shouldIsellmyGameStopstockyet?

#thispandemicmademeabetterperson

#IwasattheCapitalriotandI'mnotashamedtosayit

UAG

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Forward A Personal Check

You may be wondering why anyone would ever have the need to sign over a check to another person in this day and age, but there are several circumstances where you might find the need to endorse a check over to someone else.

[EDITED: GOOGLE IT]

And speaking of access to money, if you want to tip me two dollars for a $40 fare, don't ask me to break a fiver and tell me you'll "just get three dollars back." You don't look like a high roller, son. You look cheap as refurbished sandals. Stay classy, kids.