By now, we should all know that Alex Jones's "Info Wars" is scripted. How else could he spout so many nonsensical, byzantine explanations to fit a far-right, bigoted, pigheaded narrative every day like that? Here are the latest conspiracy stories the writers are working on:
• How SNL is a subliminal recruiting tool for pedophile veterinarians
• Rest stop or rest area? How the homosexual Underground Railroad tells the two apart.
• Toll booth EZ-Pass: a cashless road to Hell
• The real reason the bouncer at the strip club won't let you touch Candy: He fancies you.
• January 6, 2001: How the U.S. Capitol Attack separated the pussies from the patriots
• How Beaker is actually Dr. Bunsen Honeydew's adopted son but has never found out.
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