EADJ Reading Recommendation

Reading Tip: To make Cormac McCarthy's post-apocalyptic novel "The Road" seem even more bleak and grim, try reading it on a train going through New Jersey!






And no, I did not retouch the above photos to make everything look ashen and dead.

Seriously Nast-a-roni.

Monday morning, I came across a ginormous roach in the hallway. Again. I took a photo with my watch, you know, for scale:


Regular EADJ readers may find this photo very familiar. That's because an almost identical picture was posted in a November entry.


That is not the same roach, but shit, it actually seems BIGGER. Which begs some seriously disturbing questions:

1) What the fuck?
2) We're on the 23rd Floor of this building. How can roaches this huge thrive up here?
3) Roaches only thrive where there's a lot of food waste. Is someone hoarding food in their office?
4) How dirty is my watch now?

Eat 'em if you got 'em.

In an unprecedented NASCAR move, stock car racing driver Elliott Sadler announced that he would be displaying a decal with the phrase "Eat a Dick, Joel" on his front hood for FREE.

"I thought about it," said the Dodge-sponsored driver at a press conference at Madison International Speedway, "and I done think that Joel done do the dang dick-eating real good now yeehaw."

Sadler proceeded to pinch some chaw into his lower lip and hate blacks.

This announcement sent shockwaves through the racing community, a lot like how the death of Tianna sent shockwaves through the Angora rabbit community. Some detractors think that the free "sponsorship" will lead other drivers to put stickers with meaningless phrases on their cars, making them look gaudy and ridiculous.

"Dang ding dang dang whoohaw ***BURP***" said longtime racing fan Earl Haggerty before fucking his sister and seceding from the Union.

Joel could not be reached for comment during the press conference, for the dicks of drivers Matt Kenseth, JJ Yeley, Paul Menard, Greg Biffle, Sterling Marlin, Tony Stewart, Ken Schrader, Dave Blaney, Jamie McMurray, Kevin Harvick, Casey Mears, David Gilliland, David Stremme, Bobby Labonte, Juan Montoya, and Reed Sorenson were all being eaten by him.

***CORRECTION*** The car pictured above does not, in fact, belong to Elliott Sadler but to DeWalt-sponsored driver Matt Kenseth. Like anyone gives a shit.