The ProofrEADJer: Early August Edition

Now We Say Goodbye To All the Stuff Ads Want Us To Say Goodbye To!

Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye!

Synopses For New Episodes of Netflix's "Charlie's Colorforms City"

"Caveat Emptor"

Charlie's gambling addiction is revealed to his common-law wife, who leaves him immediately. His step-sister comforts him sexually.

"Within, Without"

The Purple Town Hustlaz clash violently with the Green Side Apostles, and Commissioner Lavender is forced to call in the National (Color) Guard. Rumors of a dirty bomb in the train yard forces loading crews to evacuate. College students start falling sick from a "puce-colored STD".

"Forcible Removal"

Red religious zealots burn down the Gray Community Center. Charlie and his kid deputies raid an opium den in Color Wheel Park and uncover an immigrant trafficking ring. Gerry euthanizes Hue the Police Horse after it shatters its leg in a dressage event.

UAG

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Create Deviled Shrimp On A Triscuit

Lay 24 Triscuit crackers on a serving tray. Prepare 1/3 cup of fresh guacamole and place a dollop on each cracker. Cook 24 medium shrimp and place one on each guacamole dollop. Gently ladle some chipotle pepper in adobo sauce over each shrimp, then garnish with basil, parsley, and cumin.

And speaking of cumin, if you're going to have sex in the back of my limo while I'm driving you somewhere, please don't wipe up using my nice cloth napkins. Gross.