The Proofreadjer: Mid-July Edition

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of May 4, 2018

Twitter is a crowded gymnasium where every idiot has a megaphone. Every Twitter user tweets the dumbest and most hateful, racist, ignorant, shockingly stupid statements on the internet, and even they refuse to use the following hashtags. So go ahead and start your own tweet storm with these bad boys:

#Z100isthebest

#arainstickfullofticks

#softtortillayarmulkes

#stillkneedeepinthehoopla

#afterbirthflavoredDoritos

#deepthroatingadidgeradoo

#whattheinsideofaTeletubbysuitsmellslike

#temptofulltimetogettingfiredforsexualharassment

#neverdotherobotdanceincasetheresarealrobotonthedancefloorwhosefeelingsyouwouldhurt

Some Thoughts On Seeing The Ad for 10,000 Maniacs Playing at the SOPAC

• That's not Natalie Merchant

• Yeah,  I'm pretty sure that's not Natalie Merchant

• Not that I care that much, but where is Natalie Merchant?

• Maybe her bandmates found her just as boring and bland as I do?

• Who is this new woman? And why did it have to be a woman?

• Why didn't they just hire a Filipino dude like Journey did?

• That's not Edie Brickell, is it?

• I'm no historian, but I'm pretty sure they didn't create the Alternative Rock format. Pixies did.

• Does this new vocalist sound like Natalie Merchant, pronouncing all her vowels as As?

• If Natalie Merchant put on glasses, would she resemble Janeane Garofalo?

• What's on TV on Sunday, March 26 at 7:30pm?

Urinal Pubes Was Feeling Glum

 

Urinal Pubes was feeling glum.

 

Decorative Porcelain Sphere was confused why.

 

 

Cigarette Ashtray was unimpressed.

 

 

Drive-Thru Overhang was happily oblivious.

 

 

Skyscraper Windows didn't believe a word of it.

 

 

 File Boxes were unmoved.

 

But Toothbrush Holders were shocked.

 

 

And so was Emergency Light/Oval Sconce(?) Combo.

 

Gas Station Salad couldn't believe it.

 

 

Safety Belt Holder remained mum.

 

 

Two Tiki Candles and Picnic Blanket also held its tongue.

 

 

Stepladder Paint Holder just laughed it all off.

 

 

Two Half Apple Boxes stated their disapproval.

 

 And Toilet Bowl grumbled his displeasure.

 

Lady's Creepy Backpack laughed.

 

 

 Phone Plug thought it was hilarious.

 

Featured iTunes Icon was confused.

 

 

Door Open Icon felt depressed...

 

 

... while Door Closed Icon got angry.

 

VCR Buttons cracked a few inappropriate jokes.

 

 

And Scooter Butt remained stoic.