I know we said earlier we wouldn't bother writing up all these Hallmark Christmas movies. But that was then, and this is now. Here are the latest Christmas TV movies you could watch while eating a pint.
*Editor's Note: TRUE STORY: I pulled all of these off of Hallmarkchannel.com, and before I was finished writing this entry, TWO MORE MOVIES were posted.
"Christmas at Cartwright's" starring Alicia Witt (again?!) Wallace Shawn & Gabriel Hogan
The unlikely story of a department store elf (Witt) who falls in love with the single father of a kid who's convinced she's really an elf. Plot twist: the father is actually a serial killer.
"One Christmas Eve" starring Anne Heche
A dog adopted by a loving family meticulously insinuates himself into every family discussion, lending his two cents even though nobody asked for it and going so far as telling outside family members they were talking about about what they were saying and why.
"Christmas Under Wraps" starring Candace Cameron-Bure, Brian Doyle-Murray, Robert Pine and David O’Donnell.
The employees of a failed photo studio strike financial gold when the perfect holiday backdrop is delivered mistakenly to their mailbox. It's a CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!
"Debbie Macomber's Mr. Miracle" starring Rob Morrow
Spoiler: look at the guy's shadow to the right. BOOM!
"Best Christmas Party Ever" starring J. Crew female model and JC Penney male model.
Christ, does every fucking man have to wear a suit in these shitty movies?
"The Christmas Parade" starring AnnaLynne McCord and Jefferson Brown
A prostitute on the run from the mob encounters a drug dealer with a heart of gold who lets her snort crank for a handjob or two. (Rated ME for strong language)
