Today We Critique A DoorDasher's Photography

 I just got notice that some food was delivered:

The accompanying photo:

It might be a good time to examine the DoorDasher's work here:

DoorDasher "Miguel" has done something extraordinary here– he's managed to feature two main focal points(the mailbox and the food) that instead of fight each other create a harmonic balance.

Beyond the basic functional photographic proof of the food being delivered and the inclusion of my home address number, Miguel proves to be a master of composition, tension, and drama.

Aware of the "rule of thirds" in photography, Miguel has masterfully placed the Burger King bag right on the  lower third horizontal line. He's made good use of the edge of the table, creating a diagonal that points toward the mailbox to direct your eye. Also, either by design or serendipity, the vine and plant branches behind all converge back toward the DoorDash food, continuing the endless visual loop.

Grade: A+++

A masterpiece of DoorDasher photography. Perhaps its finest example yet.

The ProofrEADJer: Late October Edition

"Dungenuss"

UAG

25 Days of Hallmark Movies: Day 5: "I'm Not Ready For Christmas" Starring Alicia Witt and George Stults

Aaaand we're done here. The end.

I wish. Instead this entire movie is a lower budget, unfunny version of Jim Carrey's "Liar Liar." Alicia Witt plays this wildly unlikeable, ambitious advertising executive (or marketer? or creative?) who lies to everyone to get what she wants. And her 9 year old niece Anna somehow cares about her enough to make a wish from Santa that her aunt doesn't lie from now on. Santa waves his dick, and the premise is in motion.

So for the next 40 minutes or so, we watch Alicia Witt have diarrhea of the mouth and actually succeed at her job because of it. Her client appreciates her candor, and her new boyfriend finds her lack of pretension refreshing. She mugs and gawks her way through a series of non-wacky situations and eventually comes to the inevitable climactic scene where she either has to keep her multimillion dollar account or tell the truth. 

The boyfriend pretty abruptly has to move to Chicago for a better job and laters her.

Spoiler: she tells the truth.

Spoiler: she tells the truth.

Spoiler: she tells the truth.

She tells the truth!

Oh, the family is so proud of her!

But who's this?

The boyfriend didn't move to Chicago after all! It turns out the niece wished for a snow storm to keep him here from Santa, and now he's staying although the job in Chicago pays twice as much! Yaaay!

This movie had a surprising lack of romance and Christmas cheer. It was a lot more about telling the truth and choosing family over work. But everybody's wearing green and red sweaters, so that should tie it all together, right?

Romance Factor: 4 out of 10

Christmas Cheer: 3 out of 10

Overall Rating: 3.5 out of 10

Time Until First Kiss: 1:22:53

Bonus crap: Did you know Alicia Witt sings the theme song to this movie? Do you wanna hear it? No? Well, fuck you. Here it is, anyway:



Catchy and annoying, isn't it? Now you can walk around like me with that lump of coal stuck in your head. Happy Festivus!