Showing posts with label JC Penney. Show all posts
Showing posts with label JC Penney. Show all posts

Monday, July 20, 2015

A Short List of Things I Would Rather Hear Than Taylor Swift's "Bad Blood"

If you've been to a strip mall, Jamba Juice, or any other retail store, supermarket, or public space, it's safe to assume you've heard Taylor Swift's song "Bad Blood (ft. Kendrick Lamar)."

Now, Taylor Swift has had a remarkable batting average of below-average chart-topping hits, but this recent entry into her catalog happens to be the most irritating, nasal, repetitive piece of tautology this side of a Tourette's convention.

Click here if you hate yourself.

Having been in public places this summer, I've heard this song far too many times for my tastes. Here is a short (but not complete) list of things I would RATHER listen to than that song ever again:

• orphans weeping at a funeral
• squirrel rape
• Axl Rose doing squat thrusts
• Wolverine scratching a mile-long chalkboard
• the Budweiser Clydesdales all evacuating their bowels simultaneously
• Arnold Schwarzenegger doing a dramatic reading of "The Notebook"
• an airhorn blowing directly in my ear for an hour
• A 4-season marathon of every episode of "The View"
• the bloodcurdling screams from botched pig slaughters
• Donald Trump's Presidential acceptance speech
• anything by Y&T
• that audible "snap" heard when Joe Theismann got injured
• Lloyd's "the most annoying sound in the world" from "Dumb and Dumber," in a 24 hour loop
• donkeys braying in a round (like in Row Row Row Your Boat)
• Japanese people trying to pronounce "Lalaloopsy" or "Lululemon"
• someone farting into an empty nuclear reactor to create giant echoes
• "Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift

Friday, December 19, 2008

A Special EADJ Mail Sack Slash Link-O-Rama Slash Vince's Uncle Roberto Entry

Submitted by Chris Stoltz via email, a link and a suggestion:

Absolutely Hilarious JCPenney Catalogue from 1977 (You HAVE to read!)

"I think this calls for fashion tips by Vince's Uncle Roberto."




And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto With Fashion Tips From 1977



The fashion of leisure suits became popular in the 70's due to the rise of inexpensive materials and a culture that had come to hate formality. The leisure suit rose in popularity with its promise to bring a stylish suit that could be used in formal business, but was comfortable and trendy enough for everyday wear.

Back in 1977, I was only 17 at the time, just holding down a job stacking boxes at the local IGA. So I had no money for nice clothes like this. But now that I've made a little money driving cars, all this great stuff can't be bought anywhere except for on the eBay! Funny how things work out that way.