Tuesday, September 24, 2024

Infowars Presents More Conspiracy Stories That Only Their Dumb Listeners Will Believe


The brilliant writers and Alex Jones are working tirelessly to bring their viewers and listeners all the latest nutjob bullshit. Here are some stories they're working on:

• American Girl Place is run by Al Qaeda operatives who use dolls to indoctrinate American families with pro-multicultural, globalist propaganda

• McDonald's Grimace shakes were made from toxic runoff from Salvadorian plastic factories, the same factories that made your mom's sex toys

• Invisible, noiseless drones are responsible for making every tree shed leaves in America. The drones are all controlled by Zach Galifianakis in a bunker somewhere

• Car washes offer free pine tree air fresheners because they secretly have listening chips to monitor your drive-thru preferences to sell to marketers

• There used to be a letter in the alphabet between G and H but it was suppressed by the Korean-American community because it resembled their symbol for "control"

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