Today We Asked A Man With His Head Squeezed Between A Woman's Thighs To Explain The Downfall of "Big Box" Stores

"Great question. *huff* Sociologists often refer... uh... to it as the 'Retail Apocalypse'... ouch... ack... wait... which describes a steep decli... AGGHHH! AGGGHHHHH! ...decline in... uh... so-called brick and mortar stores starting around 2010.... JESUS! OUCH! The shift to online shoppi.... Wait, I can't breathe... the shift to... uhh... uhhh.. uhhh...." *dies*