Faites attention! We are ze French Foreign Legion, and we are heeer to weeed out ze puns and punish zem for zheir crahmes! Heeeer we go!
"A Real Crowd Cheeser?" Horrifique! Zis offends me as a lover of words and as a Frenchman who love a good fromage! Quelle dommage!
(Stomps the label under his jackboot)
"Put Your Hams Together." Oh, Whole Foods, zis will not do! Your replacing a jambon to replace the word "hands" iz not clever du tout! I put you on notice!
(Rips poster down, buries it in the sand)
"And to all a good bite?" A second offense already? Non, non, non, non, non. Au revoir, Whole Foods!
(Turns entire wall of cannons towards Whole Foods, blows it to smithereens)
"Shops ahoy." Not a tres intelligent pun, non, Mademoiselle? That pun is very- how do you say- pedestrian! I made a joke! Ha ha ha! A better pun than what iz on her sac!
(Mounts his horse and drives the woman into the nearest Sephora store to take cover)
"Raise your Timperature." Non. English is not my language premiere, but inventing new words is not acceptable, even pour un foreigner comme mois. Dégoûtant!
(Stabs the poster with his bayonet, kicks entire display down)
"Februany?" I don't get it, Zubway.
(Ignores)
Observe closely at zis display, mes amis. Clique to enlarge. You will see zat every flavour of zese drinks are terrible puns: Mar-GO-rita, Daiq-GO-ri, and Piña-GO-lada. I have even zampled zese boissons and have found them worthy of ze puns terribles zat zey wear on zeir labels!
(Loads explosives onto drink display. Enjoys a fine red wine from a distant dune as the entire thing explodes.)
(Too many puns to name at one time)
Zis is from a Man de Bat livre comique. I have no idea who zis eyepatched woman is, either, but maybe zince zere is a Joker and a Riddler, maybe she is ze Punster?
Eizer way, she talks too much and I zink she should pay dearly for her crahmes.
(Sits her down and makes her watch 12 hours of French original programming on TV)
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