An Imagined Conversation

"Man, I am psyched to get this sandwich shop started!"
"Only two more days, Don. Exciting, huh?'
"You bet, Carl."

(awkward silence)

"Something wrong, Don?"
"Not really."
"Oh come on. You can tell me. We're business partners now, remember?"
"Well, it's just this, Carl. I don't really feel like we should call it a Sub Shop."
"Why the hell not?"
"You remember how I told you I went to culinary school in Passaic, right?"
"Oh my God. You mean to tell me you were lying?"
"No no no. Relax, Carl. Sit down. No, I totally went there. The thing is, when it came to sandwich making, I skipped out on the day they were teaching us how to build a real submarine sandwich."
"What were you doing?"
"I think 'Green Lantern' came out that day."
"That was a good movie."
"I hated it. Anyway, I never really learned how to make a proper sub, so I feel really awkward putting the actual word SUB SHOP outside."
"What was to hate about 'Green Lantern?' Ryan Reynolds was totally badass."
"So that's why I feel so uncertain about actually calling what we make 'subs.'"
"I mean, the love interest between him and Blake Lively was nonexistent for the most part."
"In fact, the mechanical way we make these sandwiches reminds me of a goddamned factory."
"And it's pretty unnatural to hire Blake Lively– who's a stunning blonde– and make her a brunette. That's just like when they hired Jessica Alba– a stunning brown-eyed brunette– and did the inverse for those godawful 'Fantastic Four' movies."
"You know what, Carl? I'd feel a lot better if we put the word 'sub' in quotes. But maybe put a space between each quote and the word 'sub' so that customers don't think I'm being sarcastic. Yeah."
"What are we talking about, again?"