George Lucas Can Sniff My Taint.

I was at the New York Comicon the other week, and I spotted this gigantic display selling a collection of Star Wars books called "Frames." Inside each leather-bound book are hundreds of frames from the Star Wars movies "personally selected by George Lucas." Price tag? Three fucking grand.


Now, those of you who know me know that I'm a pretty huge Star Wars fan. But you know what else I'm a fan of? Not being constantly ripped off by every one of George Lucas' money-grubbing schemes. Like the re-re-release of the trilogy in 3D. Or this "Frames" horseshit.


Lucas makes a shit-ton of money already off the extended merchandising of these beloved movies. Every character imaginable has an action figure now. There's even a Space Slug Oven Mitt. Really. So why does he feel the need to sell this high-end flim-flammery?


"How can you be a Star Wars fan and object to Star Wars merchandising?" you may ask. Well, I don't object to the merchandise– I have a roomful of boxes of that stuff in my man room. I'm just offended that Lucas isn't satisfied with just selling R2D2 trash cans and video games based on Lego toys based on Star Wars. He's gotta sell high-end "collectibles" for "true" fans.


And this love that fans have is something George Lucas feels the need to regulate: he's been notoriously litigious when it comes to individuals making "Star Wars" musicals or fan films. If you want to express your love for Star Wars, it should be in payment form, directly to Lucasfilm.


So go ahead and buy "Frames" if you want. Then you and 1137 other "true fans" can eat ramen noodles while jerking each other off to the Ewok celebration theme song.