It is a heavy burden I carry to watch over this city. So many criminals and vicious lowlifes who could care less about its people. All of the equipment and skill that I've developed to fight this scum, sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it. And this Punster. He's a clever individual. But with a sick mind. He thinks he's getting away with these awful puns all over town, but I'm bound to catch him soon. He leaves no clues like a playing card or a coin. Just evidence of his evil wordplay.
11:20 pm. Gotham Central Station
The Punster leaves wreckage all along the walkway. Terrible plays on the word "ogre" that don't even come close. So many helpless victims. I know he's watching me, laughing.
1:47 am.
Poor Heidi. A beautiful woman, just sullied mercilessly with the Punster's games. Such talent wasted on a tenuous tie-in between fashion and milk. I can barely watch as the Gotham County Morgue shuts the drawer.
2:24 am. Staples Store.
I burst in through a skylight when I see some activity in the darkened storefront. But he escapes the back way.
At least I managed to stop the Punster before he could add "Santa Claws" to his list of crimes. I'm getting closer.
2:48 am. Newsstand on 48th.
Okay, now he's toying with me. He knows I'm hot on his trail, but he sits and waits in the dark. My night vision turns up nothing. But I know he's close. My batarangs want action.
2:50 am.
I jump into the Batmobile and head east towards the tunnel. I must find the source of all of the Punster's power to stop him. My tires screech on the pavement as I spot this at a donut shop:
Gotham is MINE, Punster! I pound my gloved fist on the steering wheel (shaped like a bat, btw).
3:18 am.
The closer I get, the worse the puns get. My carbon fiber armor can take only so much. The Punster is #$%^& relentless.
3:37. Showdown.
I finally find the Punster's hideout. I laugh when I realize it's been under my nose all along over by the reservoir. That Kenneth Cole store has been a source of bad puns for years!
I send two bat smokebombs through the front window, forcing the Punster out of his hole. He's just a man with a pen and some lint in his pockets. My tow cable stops his mad dash for the sewer. He laughs maniacally as I tie him to a streetlight and call Gotham's finest. "You and I are not that different, Batman," he says through his dark yellow grin. "Dark Knight is kind of a pun when you think about it!" Luckily, I don't think about it and knock him out with my batfist. Shit, I think I broke a batnail.
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