Friday, October 19, 2007

Fort Dicks


Joel's chimp servant took a sabbatical to visit his family in Finland. So Joel had the apartment to himself all week, microwaving dick for himself and watching The Oxygen Network.

Imagine his surprise when he came across an old rerun of Wicked Wicked Games, a canceled series that he helped write one episodes for for the MyNetwork! Time had given Joel some perspective, and after about 18 minutes, he realized how terrible a premise it was: a soap opera about practicing witches. As Travis Parr would say, "Dummmbbb!"

Joel then realized that the shitty series had been playing on Oxygen for months now, and he hadn't received any residuals for the airings. A quick phone call to Oxygen got him the CEO M. Duckworth, a leggy brunette with a raspy voice and a heart of gold.

"Joel, we screwed you over, I admit," said M. over Joel's speakerphone, "But I'll make it up to you. How about a coupon for $5 off any regular size pizza at Pizza Hut?"

Knowing this dame drove a hard bargain, and this was as good as it was gonna get, Joel swallowed his pride (with some dick) and accepted the peace offering. The coupon is in the mail for next Tuesday! Score??

(pictured above, A wedding hall in New Jersey exudes class with its whimsical yet classy (not to mention classy) signage.)

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