Coming Soon To The EADJ Crappinema: "Gooby"

Prejudice is a terrible thing. So when I first saw the poster and then the following trailer for the "family friendly" movie "Gooby," I was automatically filled with revulsion and convinced that this story of a friendless kid learning life lessons from an imaginary bear would be a well meaning but shit-awful turd of a movie.

But that's the very definition of prejudice, isn't it? "Pre-judging" something before that something has the opportunity to completely show you how bad it is on its own.

I now hereby withhold all judgement of this hideous, dead-eyed "monster-type" E.T. ripoff until I see it in its entirety. Soon, bitches.

Genius At Work

Recently, EADJ has gotten hold of some rare, behind-the-scenes footage of a major restaurant chain's creative process. The following is a transcript from a recording of TGI Friday's interior decorator Sallie Hayes at work:

"Alright. Are we all here? We've already taken care of the main foyer, greeting area, and Express Take Out area. Now we've got this wonderful 20' x 45' main dining room to take care of... (rustling)... where's my chalk? Okay, thanks Meg.

"This main wall is probably what we should tackle first. It's how high, Olivier? 12 feet? Wonderful. I think we can definitely fit a horse-drawn Gundlach grain drill up there...No, without the horses, you silly goose. Yeah, the Gundlach grain drill, not the John Deere 1560 No-Till Grain Drill. The John Deere's yellow lids will clash with what I'm going flank it with on either side, Meg. And what I'm going to flank it with are matching Victorian gypsy corsets, both periwinkle and with the raised floral detail. Over by the left corset, we'll hang a framed photo of Henry Kissinger, but there's that small fire sprinkler over the right one, so we'll just hang the otter mask.

"Oh, we're out of otter masks? Shoot. Guess we'll have to put the Brooks & Dunn tambourine there instead.

"Now, this northeast wall is at a sharp enough angle where we can install the lumberjack mannequin without disrupting the flow of the Christina Aguilera painting and the Biohazard sign. And, Meg, make sure the cat o' nine tails won't hang too low over the washboard– I don't want another Hoboken incident again, okay?

"What the goober is this? A poster of a mountain landscape? How in the name of Sam Hill did this wind up amongst all our stuff in this wheelbarrow? Gee whillikers, what am I supposed to do with this? Meg, trash this unsightly poster, please. And help me bracket mount this wheelbarrow when you get back; I pulled my back last week in Lexington trying to lift that ceramic life-sized cow."