EADJ Semi-regular Fashion Write-Up

I'm sure the greatest challenge is some social circles is to find the ugliest coat on the discount fur rack and just work it like it's never been worked before.

Gerbil fur with pin stripes? FUCK IT. Put on some multi-buckle knee-high boots and a leather messenger bag and just MAKE THAT FUCKIN' THING WORK, GODDAMMIT.

"Excuse me, my good fellow! Please pardon the intrusion, but I seem to be turned around here! If you could be so good as to direct me to the Montclair-Boonton train, which from my understanding is scheduled to depart this very station at precisely 4:12 pm– oh, excuse me madam- and whose boarding should have been announced a good 3 minutes ago according to my pocketwatch... You see, I am running late for an old fashioned fishmongers convention, yes, I sell haddock in Cheshire back in 1920's England. Oh. I see you are holding a coffee cup full of your own urine. I shall bid my leave now. A good morrow to you, stranger!"

Spotted in New York. Obviously.

When Mom told you to dress in layers, she didn't mean a hoodie under a tank top over a t-shirt over leggings with a scarf and fanny pack and a what the fuck is going on here. Who told this lady to wear an entire yard sale? No, wait. Does that tank top have a hood? And if this clarifies anything for you, yes, I did hear her speak in an English accent.

Just so you know, there's nude leggings, and then there's really nude leggings. And I am not kidding you– I spotted Slim Goodbody here in front of the Fashion Institute of Technology.

Hey dude, you probably think you look like Kris Kristofferson in "Blade," but the truth is you look like Wilford Brimley at a leather bar. Or maybe he's a swashbuckling rogue with the umbrella? Pain.

Spotted at the Jersey Shore- one of the biggest and grodiest fucking white woman dreadlocks I have ever witnessed up close. I'm pretty sure raccoons would skitter away from how unsanitary that thing is.

And if you look closely at this photo, you can also catch some sandals and socks action as well as a really huge ass in the background. Bonus!

That's Gotta Burn

Momma says one out of five of the total adolescent and adult population is infected with genital herpes. So we opened the latest issue of The Society Page Magazine and guessed which of the five skanks in group photos had the burning H.


Quick legal note: The following is just bullshit conjecture based on herpes statistics Momma gave us. So before any of you bitches actually find this blog and want to sue EADJ for defamation, please note that your photo was published in some free rag we found behind a Golden Tee machine at Bahama Kip's, and we changed your names, too, so it's entirely a work of fiction. Whores.


Hannah didn't get the text from her BFFs about wearing jeans that night. Also, she didn't get the memo that one of them was a man.


Kristi (or is it Christy? Christie? Kristie? Kristi? Christi? Cristi?) didn't share her margarita glass with the others for a reason. Because of her "zit."


Figuring out that Paige had the STD was easy, since she was the only marginally bangable one in the quintet.


Keith liked to wipe bar glasses with his infected dick. Which is not only gross, but hilarious.

Get Ready To Live Excellently!

Spotted on 8th Street and 4th Ave in Brooklyn: some fat, bearded guy laid out in his minivan with the motor still running. No more calls, please- we have found our new king.






Here's to excellence! Viva l'excellence!

Dick To Dick Calling

(pictured above, cause and effect at 225 North Michigan)