EADJ's Mission To Spot All Of The Avengers On The Subway, Special Collector's Issue

You might want to seal this one in a polypropylene bag with a cardboard backing board, because this is a special COMPLETE AVENGERS issue! The Agents of E.A.D.J. have double-confirmed the sighting of the last remaining unseen member of Earth's Mightiest Heroes, and not only that, but their courageous LEADER! 

CAPTAIN AMERICA

Yes, the fearless super soldier (born Steve Rogers) was spotted on a train in Penn Station earlier this week, and I gotta tell you, he doesn't look a day over 91.

You may not recognize "Cap" at first, but that unmistakable stars and stripes on his lap is the dead giveaway that it is indeed "The Star-Spangled Avenger." And look at that color scheme: RED smartphone, WHITE stripes on the bag, and BLUE jeans? Come on, that's him!

What's surprising is that he was so unassuming. I mean, after seeing him lay waste to hundreds of Chitauri invaders in "The Avengers," it's hard to believe he could just sit there calmly and play Candy Crush Saga. But that's the kind of cool-headed leader we're dealing with!

Bonus: Even though he was spotted before,  here is a new shot we acquired of Thor on the subway:

At last, we have seen all six Avengers on the New York subway system!

The only ones left to spot now are Agent Coulson and Nick Fury. But I need to remind myself that if I do encounter a black guy with an eyepatch, he might actually kill me if I try to take his photo for this blog.

Stay tuned, true believers! Excelsior!

Yogurt Entry

 

Bitches be lovin' some yogurt, but they live very active lifestyles and need to have their yogurt on the go. So companies have bent over backward to provide both efficient yogurt delivery conveyances and developing products that move with bitches' active lifestyles.

 

One product in particular is Go-Gurt by Yoplait. They've taken the squeeziness of a delicious ice cream push-up and have applied it to fermented yogurt cultures! DELISH!

 

But apparently people are slurping it up, because it's been a General Mills bestseller since 1999.

 

The other way yogurt has been made more accessible is by the rise of yogurt trucks (at least in NYC).

Woe is the guy drunk in the middle of the day who stumbles up to what he thinks is a Mister Softee truck and he gets a mouthful of froyo. If he's drunk enough, he might not be able to tell the difference, so it's cool.

Many companies are jumping on this yogurt truck bandwagon. Here now are some nomenclature suggestions should any of these startups need a name:

• Mo' Money, Yo' Toppings

• Humphrey YoGart

• The YoGurt Go-Curt

• Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo, Check It Out

• We Can't Legally Call It Ice Cream

• Barack YObamagurt

• 'Gurt You Yo It's True

• Brogurt (for men only)

• Make It So-gurt- a Star Trek:The Next Generation-themed brand of frozen yogurt

• Yo-Gertrude Stein

•  Perry Ellis Yogurt- the Perry Ellis brand has been out of the spotlight for a while now, and this would be a golden opportunity for Perry Ellis to introduce themselves to a new generation of consumers- in this case, via high quality frozen yogurt.

• AreYOla- topless frozen yogurt van with stripper servers

• EbYOla Virus

• Oy-Gurt- yogurt served by English skinheads. Get 10 yogurts for a free punch in the neck.

• BoGurt- a van where former American Idol star Bo Bice will serve you frozen yogurt. You will not recognize him.

• TU ORGY- an "edgy" version of the frozen yogurt van, brought to you by VICE Magazine. They make fun of your clothes while you order and tell you all about the blood sacrifice ceremony of the shamans on the Indonesian island of Sumba.

• John Fogerty's Yogurty- you got to hidey-hide...

• Tyler Perry's Yogurt- Serves only one flavor. Guess what it is.

The Generational Divide, Illustrated

I spotted this gem of an advert at a Nathan's:

If you are 25 and younger, this is why the ad is mildly humorous:

And if you are 25 and older, this is why the ad is hilarious: