The ProofrEADJer, January Edition

Oh Joel.

One thing you should know about Joel other than the fact that he adores gobbling cock: he is a fastidious dresser.

Joel ordered his chimp servant Chad Yarborough to press his wool pants this morning, which it did but left a tiny crease near the left cuff. Joel scolded it harshly and told him to try it again. Also, to hurry up– Joel had a meeting with Carmen Electra at Ritz Camera in an hour. Why was Carmen Electra slumming at Ritz Camera? You ask her.

The chimp servant had abandoned the pants press in the walk-in closet and tried the steamer instead. But Joel doesn't like steam drops on his wool pants, so he told the chimp servant to go back to trying the iron. What a dick.

After a fourth try on Joel's pants, the chimp servant was successful, and Joel was satisfied.

Once Joel was on his way, the chimp servant pulled out his opium pipe and turned on his Tivo'd "Family Feud."

(pictured above, Tara starts to show signs of stress and takes cover under a box)

Iko Iko Eat a Dick

A furious argument between Joel and his chimp servant resulted in a shutdown of internet access for the entire apartment complex. Mrs. Jannis downstairs complained that she was busy reading plot summaries for "Passions" when it shut down. Jimmy and Duncan in 3A were chatting with whores on the True® dating network. Bryan Dixon was updating his myspace page for the 8,644,301st time, adding some photos of some city in the Czech Republic. I forget which.

Joel and his chimp servant apologized to most of the complex. Except for old Mr. Fischer, who has yet to give Joel back his dick bowl from that potluck dinner.

(pictured above, Emily S rubs her strep ass all over the Café Kriv)