The ProofrEADJer: Didn't-We-Just-Do-One-Of-These-Last-Week Edition

This one is more missing a word than misspelled:

Nice to learn that Saturn's sixth moon is also a 16th Century Renaissance painter:

Now Let's Go To Gary Ennoweth With the Accuweather Forecast

"Thanks, Tracy and Dean. Milder weather earlier this morning and afternoon is all but gone this evening, leaving a massive low pressure system covering the entire tri-state area, which I'm afraid is going to lead to a serious shitstorm by midnight.

"This shitstorm isn't something any of us were prepared for, frankly, but isn't that always what happens? You see the signs but ignore them, hoping for the best, then... BAM! You're surrounded by shit. In a storm.

"Now, this shitstorm is sure to cover the entire area, but I bet you're wondering, who will this affect most? A lot of people, actually. The most affected:

•  people who didn't look at their checking balance until rent is due
• furries with neighbors with children
• Alex P. Keaton when he was taking two different girls to prom
• whoever's in charge of the DC cinematic universe
• climate change deniers
• people in jail with Suge Knight who have no idea who he is
• people who purchased "No Man's Sky" instead of "Overwatch" for their kids
• Donald J. Trump
• people who are just getting around to watching "The Walking Dead" season premiere, with their parents
• teen moms-to-be

"If you're on this list, I would urge you to stay inside and try to sit out the shitstorm, but I know for a lot of you in mobile homes, that it's just not possible. So I'd recommend finding a secure building, sitting yourself in the middle of the basement, and reassessing the life choices you've made thus far and maybe coming to terms with your God. I'm Gary Ennoweth, and this is your Accuweather Forecast! Back to you, Tracy and Dean!"

Some Hollywood Films Currently In Development Based On Rug Swatches At Home Depot

The following films have all been greenlighted by Warner Brothers, Sony Pictures, Columbia Entertainment, Lucasfilm and Miramax Pictures. All of these have been named after existing SoftSpring® brand rug swatches. Hey, they've had dumber ideas, you know.

"Ocean Breeze" starring Russell Crowe and Keira Knightley

A drunken sailor meets a spoiled socialite and they fight for two hours before he docks his schooner in her dry dock. Directed by Ridley Scott.

"Arctic Chill" starring Kevin Hart and Tracey Jordan

Two hardcore rappers take the wrong flight and end up in the Arctic Circle mistaken as geologists. Soundtrack by J. Cole, Drake, and Swizz Beats.

"New Dawn" starring Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson

Despite what it sounds like, this is NOT a Twilight installment. Stewart plays an out-of-place teenager who meets a boy with extraordinary powers. I know it sounds A LOT like Twilight, but trust us, it's based entirely on a CARPET SWATCH.

"Clambake" starring Jonah Hill, Don Wahlberg and Michael B. Jordan

Three high school losers find out where the biggest Senior party of the year is being held and use this knowledge to win over girls, get popular, and focus more on their academic studies.

"Lumber Yard" starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Angelina Jolie. Directed by Christopher Nolan.

Whatever it's about, critics are going to jizz themselves trying to praise everyone involved. LUMBER YARD!

"Timberline" starring Timbaland, Justin Timberlake, and Tim Burr

A funky new musical in the tradition of "Grease" and "Step Up 4: All In in 3D and IMAX." A veteran hip hop emcee (played by Flavor Flav) trains a talented white protege and takes over the music business a second time. We forgot to cast a female in this. Damn.

"Georgia Clay" starring Jamie Foxx, Lance Reddick, and Pepa

Foxx plays Dr. Amon Clay, a once-successful plastic surgeon in the Atlanta area who confronts his past patients who are all melting.

"Garden Cucumber" starring Sasha Grey

Now available for download.