And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Fold A Throw Blanket

Fold the throw in half vertically for the flip and flop method. Then flip in half over your forearm and flop it over the back of a sofa or chair. For the flip and toss method, fold the blanket in half vertically. Take hold of the middle and toss in place.

And speaking of holding the middle, if you're ever feeling nauseous while riding in the back of my limousine, asking me to pull over so you can puke will automatically get you 20% off your total bill. I don't have that in writing, but that's a promise. Stay safe, kids.

An Imagined Conversation

"Hello, Cancer Ribbon Collective?"

"Hi, is this Donovan? This is Kellie from the Kidney Cancer Association."

"Hello, Kellie. How are you?"

"Fine. I just have a quick question for you, if you have the time."

"Shoot."

"I took a look at the Cancer Ribbon Chart you sent last week? And I don't know if you know this, but there are two ribbons for kidney cancer."

"You don't say."

"Yeah, Donavan. Not trying to call you out, but there's a jade ribbon, and a yellow ribbon. I'm not sure if there's a mix-up or something."

"Kellie, is it? Yeah, I remember assigning the jade one to you like last year. You ordered all the jade ribbons in the fall for that walk."

"So you do remember. Why the second one, then?"

"Not sure… wait. You know what? We just hired an intern here last month, and I had asked Chelsea to organize the ribbons for a new chart to send out later next week. So I bet it was her doing. Just yesterday, she asked me where the yellow ribbons were. I asked her what for, and she just said 'pee pee.'"

"Ahh. So there's the culprit. Okay, thanks for clearing that up, Donovan."

"You're welcome. I better check on Chelsea to make sure she didn't assign a brown extra ribbon to 'poop.'"

The ProofrEADJer, Pre-Valentines Day Edition