This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

MC Wile E. Coyote has a plan. Produced by ACME Studios.

But before E.T. boarded his spaceship and headed home, he lifted his finger and told Future, "I'll be right here... for an unnecessary collabo with Drake and 2 Chainz."

"I see you've recently changed the oil on your sedan. I can respect that. Someone who takes the time to maintain and care for their car will have great use out of it for years to come. That's something most people don't realize- they drive the heck out of a car, thinking it doesn't need to be taken into the shop until it's starting to break down. But you get it. You understand the importance of regular tune ups and... oh shit, WHERE ARE MY SHOES?"

Yes, it is possible to fail a Photoshop course.

Crip starter kits are only $119.99 with your Sam's Club card.

Few people realize that Drake is an amateur gemologist. Here are a few gems from his collection of rare glass doorknobs from old ladies' homes.

An A? I'd drop a whole letter grade because he can't spell "similes."

This could be a new age CD- I don't care. It is an awesome cover.

The ProofrEADJer, Mid-January Edition

So Where On The EADJ Crappinuum Did "Humanity's End" End Up?

(click to enlarge)

The most awful part of "Humanity's End" isn't in its lack of story or mediocre acting. It's biggest crime is in its proppage; it honestly looks like the prop master went to a dollar store with two twenties and bought the entire set, props and maybe even wardrobe there, along with some gifts for his kids and a pack of smokes.

The bickering of the crew was actually pretty enjoyable. But the stereotypically EVIL EVIL bad guys were unfortunate.

I would say that "Humanity's End" sat somewhere between "Unbeatable Harold" and "Da Station" for overall suckage. That's pretty low on the Crappinuum, which means it was pretty fucking piss-awful.

If "Humanity's End" were a cupcake, I'd throw it against a wall and draw a chalk circle around where it stuck. What does that even mean?

One man's banana sling is Joel's feedbag

(The following is an excerpt from a Japanese instructional manual for Joel)

INSTLUCTION AND CARE FOR YOUR HOUSEHOLD JOEL PLEASE:


1) Keep the Joel in place of dryness!

2) To wake Joel, hold thumbs near throte and throttle until wake!

3) Joel eats lots of different variety dick. Feed liberally with lots!

4) Happy Joel smile and break-dance. Sad Joel mope with sullenness.

5) Penhouse Pet Varentina Vaughn


(pictured above, Jessica's ass, as seen via JessicaFostervision)