The Difference Between Paratha, Roti, Naan and Chapatis, Sponsored by Utz

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Today We Asked A Man With His Head Squeezed Between A Woman's Thighs To Explain Double Encryption

"*Ack*... That's a great question, EADJ... *ahhh* Multiple encryption–also known as cascade encryption– is the process.... *ACK!* ...of encrypting an already... (gags) encrypted digital message one or ... (muffled) more times, either... huff... huff...using the (choke) same or a different... OWW!.. algorithm... *FUCK I CAN'T BREATHE* Here's how it works... (goes limp and dies)

How To Consult the I Ching Using A Chick-Fil-A Catering Menu

If you ever find yourself in a Chick-Fil-A in need of some sort of ancient oracle to answer a vital life question, look no further than Chick-Fil-A's own catering menu!

You'll find that the platters have been arranged in such a way to correspond with some of the many trigram configurations found in the original I Ching: The Book of Changes. So cast your three coins, ask a spiritual question, and look for the answer, courtesy of the Home of the Original Chicken Sandwich!

Chick-Fil-A Nuggets Tray = QIAN (Heaven)

The Chick-Fil-A Nuggets Tray represents the YANG energy of the universe: the Father, Sun and Fire Element. It also comes with cheesy ranch dressing for dipping.

Chick-Fil-A Chicken Salad Sandwich Tray = LI (Fire)

The Chick-Fil-A Chicken Salad Sandwich Tray can refer to the fire of the human mind and to the fire of the mind of Tao. The fire of the human mind refers to the many desires and emotions that veil the Original Spirit. This does not imply that the chicken salad within is spicy in any way.

Chick-Fil-A Chicken Cool Wrap Tray = KUN (Earth)

The Chick-Fil-A Chicken Cool Wrap Tray is the YIN to the YANG of the Chick-Fil-A Nuggets Tray. The Chick-Fil-A Nuggets Tray is firm and the Chick-Fil-A Chicken Cool Wrap Tray is yielding, They are fitted to embrace each other. They also go well together for corporate outings.

Chick-Fil-A Cool Wrap and Chicken Salad Sandwich Tray = KAN (Water)

Although the original I Ching never combined the parts of the YIN and YANG to create KAN, the Chick-Fil-A Cool Wrap and Chicken Salad Sandwich Tray resembled the configuration of the glyphs most closely. Turns out the KAN has its own complementing opposite: LI, represented by the Chick-Fil-A Chicken Salad Sandwich Tray, although the Chick-Fil-A Chicken Salad Sandwich Tray is half represented in KAN, which doesn't make any sense. Jesus, this whole thing really falls apart...

Chick-Fil-A Chick-N-Strips Tray = DUI (Lake)

Pass.