Fun With Hair Coloring Products At CVS

A) Loves the new Adele song

B) Can't stand that new Adele song

C) Is thankfully deaf

A) Thinks you farted

B) Knows you farted

C) Would like to hear more

A) Retired MLB player

B) Former assistant to Barbra Streisand

C) Transferred from Al Qaeda to ISIS

A) Once gave Jaleel White a hand job

B) Once stuck her ring finger in Jaleel White's asshole

C) Has an upcoming date with Jaleel White and her imagination is going wild

No, She's Not From the Band Tegan & Sara

Pictured below, my Mom rocks a fucking sweet post-chemo mullet.



She's fine now, btw.

Meanwhile, at a Kinko's in Arlington, VA,

Jay Cohen spots a sign at Kinko's that breaks up with you and then still wants to be friends.

Jay's Majestic Blow-Out

Check out my co-worker Jay's impressive coif. In addition to telling him he resembled Michael Cera, I said, "Nice blow-out," and he didn't know what I meant. I said, "You know, like Pauly D from 'Jersey Shore,'" and he didn't know what that meant, either. Then he tells me he doesn't even own a TV. Goddamned hipster.




You can see how its magnificence is magnified during focus groups:

Meanwhile, During The Sound Record...

Pictured above, Brynn doesn't realize she's sort of making fun of Danny's hairdo.

Let's Spend All Our Money Trying To Pick Up the EADJ Mail Sack in the Arcade Claw Machine!

Submitted by Mel Kreilein, Governor Rod Blogojevich ain't got nuthin' on the National Rent-a-Car clerk in San Francisco.

Josephine's Amazing Technicolor Dreambush

(pictured above, the most disturbing combination is "covering gray" with the magenta "fun" option)